Six Myths About Suicide I’ve Learned Over the Past 34 Years

Thirty-four years ago, both of my parents died by suicide, nine months apart, and the experience changed my life forever. It shaped my understanding of grief, resilience and the importance of conversation. More recently, training and practising as a counsellor, and serving as a trustee of Maytree, a sanctuary for people experiencing suicidal crisis, has deepened that understanding further.

One thing I’ve learned is that there are still many myths surrounding suicide. While awareness has improved, misconceptions continue to prevent people from seeking help or supporting others effectively.

Here are six of the most common myths I’ve encountered and why we need to challenge them.

Myth 1: Talking about suicide puts the idea into someone’s head

This is one of the most persistent myths and one of the most damaging. Many people avoid asking direct questions because they fear they will somehow encourage suicidal thoughts. In reality, talking openly and calmly about suicide can provide relief for someone who is struggling.

People experiencing suicidal thoughts often feel isolated, frightened and misunderstood. Being able to speak honestly with someone who listens without judgement can help reduce that sense of isolation.

The conversation itself isn’t dangerous. Silence is often far more dangerous.

Myth 2: People who are thinking about suicide always show obvious signs

Sometimes there are warning signs. Sometimes there aren’t. Many people imagine there will always be clear indicators, but human beings are complex. Some people mask emotional pain remarkably well. Others continue functioning at work, caring for family members and maintaining relationships while privately struggling.

That means we should avoid making assumptions based on appearances alone, as someone can seem successful, sociable and capable while experiencing profound distress.

Myth 3: Suicide is a selfish act

In my experience, this misunderstanding often comes from viewing suicide through the lens of those left behind and the reality is far more complicated.

People experiencing suicidal crisis are often overwhelmed by emotional pain and many genuinely believe others would be better off without them. Of course, this belief is deeply inaccurate, but it reflects despair rather than selfishness.

Understanding that distinction helps us respond with compassion rather than judgement.

Myth 4: Friends and family should be able to fix the problem

Friends and family are incredibly important because love, support and connection matter enormously but we need to remember that loved ones are not mental health professionals.

Many people blame themselves afterwards because they think they should have said the right thing, spotted the right sign or somehow prevented what happened.

Likewise, individuals experiencing suicidal thoughts sometimes expect family members to have all the answers.

Professional support exists for a reason. Counsellors, therapists and specialist services provide space, expertise and objectivity that even the most caring loved ones may not be able to offer. Seeking help is not failure; it’s wisdom.

Myth 5: If someone talks openly about suicide, they aren’t serious

I’ve encountered a surprising number of people who still believe this to be true and any expressions of suicidal thinking should always be taken seriously.

Sometimes people speak directly; sometimes they hint; and sometimes they test whether it’s safe to say more. When someone raises the subject, our job is not to decide whether they “really mean it”. Our role is to listen, take them seriously and help them access appropriate support.

It’s always better to respond with curiosity and compassion than dismissal.

Myth 6: Loneliness is simply about being alone

One of the biggest lessons of recent years is that loneliness and isolation are not the same thing. Many people are surrounded by colleagues, friends, followers and online connections yet still feel profoundly alone.

Technology can be wonderful, but it can also make it easier to hide. We can present versions of ourselves while keeping our struggles private. What people often need is genuine connection – conversations, community and relationships – where they feel understood rather than judged.

That is why creating spaces where people can talk honestly has never been more important.

A Final Thought

After losing both my parents, I made a decision that their deaths would not define the rest of my life. The grief never disappears entirely but over time I learned that healing is possible, resilience can be developed, and difficult conversations can save lives.

If there is one message I would leave you with, it is this:

You do not need to have all the right words. You simply need the courage to start the conversation, listen with empathy, and encourage people to seek support when they need it.

Sometimes that first conversation changes everything.

By Nicky Denegri is Principal Consultant & Head of Coaching at KWC Global